One Week

It's officially been one week since we arrived in Ohio to meet Isaac. It feels like yesterday, it feels like a million years ago.

Unfortunately, I was unable to hold Isaac again today. Based on his breathing issues, one of his doctors suspected he may have something called PDA. I cut and pasted the description below:

Patent Ductus Arteriosus (www.kidshealth.org)
The ductus arteriosus is a short blood vessel that connects the main blood vessel supplying the lungs to the aorta, the main blood vessel that leaves the heart. Its function in the unborn baby is to allow blood to bypass the lungs, because oxygen for the blood comes from the mother and not from breathing air. In full-term babies, the ductus arteriosus closes shortly after birth, but it frequently stays open in premature babies. When this happens, excess blood flows into the lungs and can cause breathing difficulties and sometimes heart failure. Patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) is often treated with a medication called indomethacin, which is successful in closing the ductus arteriosus in more than 80% of infants requiring this medication. However, if indomethacin therapy fails, then surgery may be required to close the ductus.

He in fact, does have it. The doctor explained that they would do one course of meds (3 days) and then another echocardiogram. If it is not fixed, they will do another course of meds (another 3 days) and do a final echo. If it is still not fixed, we move on to surgery. From what I've found online, it sounds like this one of the more common surgeries for a child born this early. No less scary, but good to know. So, that's where we are with little, tiny, baby Isaac. Jason and I keep telling each other we just don't want him to die. The staff are optimistic, but also tell us his status could change very quickly. This is all very much hour by hour.

A friend sent us a giftcard to Quizzno's so Hannah and I walked there for lunch. We also went to the McKinley Monument where Hannah and I climbed 50 steps and then played in a nearby park. It was sooo hot!

We stopped by the hospital on our way home from dinner for about 45 minutes. We read some books in Isaac's room and walked around the NICU talking about the babies and visiting with the nurses. She feel asleep fairly quickly tonight.

I have a journal of favorite Bible verses that I brought with me for encouragement. The verse that is speaking to me the most right now is Colossians 3:23. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." I keep thinking about how I will hurt if Isaac doesn't pull through this. My greatest fear is that he will die. Part of me wants to run away to avoid the pain. But that would be "working" for man, so to speak. Moriah, our second child, is no longer in our care. But I still pray for her--and will always--that's working for the Lord. Whether Isaac pulls through or not is not the question. It's whether Jason and I follow through with God's calling for us in his life, right now. I cannot make sense of the things we've experienced or will experience. But I'm not supposed to. God calls on us and expects us to give our all, regardless of the outcome. I look forward to the day that He says to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant, well done."

Busy Day

After breakfast and some time in the hotel room making phone calls, sending emails and putting toys away, Hannah and I visited one of the local YMCA's. We're members back home and the staff here were happy to let us have a temporary membership at no charge for the time we're here. Praise the Lord! I only ran a little over 2 miles but it was nice to work up a sweat.

Remember yesterday I said I would try to make a routine of praying? Well, I realized I do have somewhat of a routine; I usually pray while I'm working out. I was on the treadmill praying up a storm today! I was kind of proud of myself. And when I returned to pick up Hannah she was happily playing with a train with some other kids. I was very happy to see she was enjoying herself. After a quick lunch at the Y, we went to Target and picked up a few necessities. Ok, and a few non-necessities...a few dollar items for Hannah. I just can't help myself, sometimes! They're only $1!!

We headed back to the hotel where I prepared to go to the hospital. A very nice lady came over today to take care of Hannah while I went to the hospital. It sounds like they had a wonderful time together. Unfortunately, I was unable to hold Isaac. He needed to have his vent tube changed to a larger size and just wasn't ready to be jostled around and taken out of his bed.

Hannah and I headed out for dinner and then back to the hospital so Hannah could see her little brother. After a short visit, we came back to the hotel and went swimming. Mommy is tired! Hannah's in her pack and play singing and laughing and talking. I'm about to snuggle up in the fancy down comforter and read my book!

BTW, the pic is from our trail walk out by Amish Country. Happy Viewing!

How to Help

Many of you have asked how you can help. There are several ways:

1. Continue to pray on Isaac's behalf. Pray for complete recovery from an early birth with no complications or delays. Pray for God's will in his life and ours.
2. Continue to leave us comments and emails! We love hearing from you!
3. Make a tax-deductible donation to Life International on our behalf. They are a non-profit organization whose mission is to help support and encourage adoptive families. You can visit their website at: www.lifeintl.org Please make your check payable to "Life International." Please write "Preference Jason & Tiffany Evans' Adoption" on the check memo line. Send donations to: Life International PO Box 40 Gridley, IL 61744. *In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use.
4. Send us gas gift cards, gift cards to restaurants, etc. This will help to offset some of our living expenses until we can return home.
5. If God is laying something else on your heart not listed here, please follow His leading!

On the Road Again

Jason left today. I cried. I know I can handle this, but I just don't want to do it without him. We like, tag team with the kids, ya know? Surprisingly, we're nicer to each other under stress, too. Rather, I'm nicer to him. He's usually nice. And I know he wants to be here. We truly are best friends. We really enjoy being together. I hate that he has to go to work. I hate that we have to make money to live. Jason and I talk about this all the time. Don't get me wrong, we're hard workers. I don't think we should be sitting around like bumps on logs, but why do we have to work to survive? Ugh. He's hoping to join us again late Thursday night. I'll be counting the days.

I got to hold Isaac today! The little buddy. He's been a little restless today. Not sure why. BTW, the staff at Aultman Hospital have been fantastic. They're always available to answer questions and very understanding of our adoption situation. Many times, adoptive families are treated differently because staff do not know how to interact with them. Everyone here has been just wonderful. In fact, they let me do our laundry at the NICU this evening. After Jason left, Hannah and I headed up the hospital with a suitcase of dirty clothes. All clean, now!

This morning, we went to RiverTree Church about 15 minutes away. We've made some contacts there through family of one of our close friends. It felt soooo good to be in church. It felt so good to drop Hannah off at the nursery knowing she was going to get to play with other kids. It felt so good to worship. The sermon was about prayer. We read from Daniel chapter 6. One of the things the pastor talked about was having a prayer routine. Praying at the same time everyday. In the same place. Making it a part of what you do, everyday. I do not do that. I think about praying and then I get too busy. Lousy excuse. I'm going to give this a try. I'm such a freak about routine you'd think I'd be able to plan prayer into my day, huh?

Tonight, at prayer time, Hannah said, "Thank you God for Mommy. Thank you God for taking a nap. Thank you God for going for a walk. Amen." Isn't that just exactly what God wants to hear? I always tell her that Jesus loves to hear her pray. I know He just eats that up. He laughs and wants to hug her when she prays. So, I hug her for Him. I think some people think it's more stressful that she's here, but the opposite is true. She keeps things light and funny. Yeah, she has tantrums, but mostly she just makes me really happy and keeps things in perspective. And prays prayers that I can learn from. Tonight, I pray, "Thank you God for my family. Thank you for sending us to a place of worship today--I really needed that rest. Thank you for all the little things that you placed in my life today that made it good. Amen."

Amish Country

We always start the day by visiting Isaac. We cannot stay long because Hannah lasts about 1 minute before she wants to run around and yell. She's charmed the nursing staff, but I keep telling them it's all show. No, she's a good girl. She's just 2.

We decided to head to Amish Country today. Within 20 minutes, we were amidst buggies and horse poop. We stopped off for lunch at The Amish Door Inn. They had a petting farm but it was closed. Hannah was content seeing the animals and hearing the sheep baaaa. We took a buggy ride and I chatted with the driver. I love older people. 60 and over-ish. They always have such interesting stories to tell. That's one of the reasons I love my grandparents soooo much. Anyway, our buggy drive, David, was a sweet man. At the end of our conversation, my heart was so warmed by his stories I told him, "God Bless You" and he said, "Do you go to church?" And I could tell that going to church was very important to him. I said, "Yes, we do." And for a moment I thought he could be an angel because it looked like his eyes got teary and he said, "Oh, that's very good." I wanted to hug him right there, but I don't know Amish protocol so I didn't want to offend him. He told us about a wildlife area that we could visit for free and we were very up for that. It was beautiful!!! My pictures do not do it justice.

And then, tonight, Jason went up to spend time with Isaac. Jason will be leaving early tomorrow afternoon for home (argh!) so he had Daddy time tonight. As soon as I downloaded the picture, I thought of my mother-in-law, Nancy, who passed away very unexpectedly a little over a month ago. She would've adored the picture of her son and grandson. She would've printed it immediately and showed it to everyone she met for the next 3 months. It is a sad time for our family in that Nancy is not here to share in the joy of her new grandson.

Much love to all of you for your support and prayers. Please continue to leave us comments! It's very encouraging to hear from you. I'm getting your emails, too. And if you're calling us and we're not calling you back, it's because we're way over on our minutes right now and I tried calling Sprint to give us a break...no dice.

Until tomorrow.

Our Story

I posted about our day today in a different post. I just wanted to take a few minutes and share our story with you.

Jason and I married in July of 2000. In 2002, we began trying to get pregnant. Months turned into a year and we consulted with our doctor. We tried Clomid with no results. In November of 2003 I had an early miscarriage. Jason and I went through some basic fertility testing only to be given the diagnosis of "undiagnosed infertility." Meaning, the doctors had no idea why we were not getting pregnant.

While we were dating, we talked briefly about adoption being something we may want to pursue. The idea never went away, but was tabled during the time we were trying to get pregnant. We began talking about adoption again near the end of 2003. In mid 2004, we began looking into the different types of adoptions and agencies. Since we were interested in adopting an infant and didn't meet various requirements for international countries, we decided to go domestic. In December 2004, we chose our agency: D.A. Blodgett for Children in Grand Rapids, MI. On February 2, 2005 we submitted our application and began the official adoption process. We were matched with a birth family somewhere between March and May but it fell through. The Friday before Memorial Day, we got THE call. About 7 weeks later, we got the next call, birthmom was on her way to deliver. I was in the delivery room when Hannah Grace was born.

[You should know, before Hannah was born, when we were choosing names, we had picked the name Isaac if we had a boy.]

Hannah really is a doll. We love her with all our hearts. We have an open adoption with her birth family. We see or talk with her birthmom nearly every month. Hannah has a lifebook (a book for a person who was adopted that tells their life story) that she likes to look at and read. In our family, adoption is a positive word that represents a part of what we are about. And we are very proud of it.

Last fall, we started talking about baby number two. We decided to go the same route and turned in our portfolio (picture book for birth families to look through to help them choose an adoptive family) in November.

In February, we got the call that we had been chosen! On March 3, 2007 Moriah Juliet was born. We had Moriah for a little under two weeks when her birthmom decided she wanted to parent. Moriah's picture is on the family picture wall. While she does not live with us, she is still a part of our family. We still pray for her nearly every night. I will never stop praying for her. For her future. It is my responsibility as a parent and my responsibility as a part of the body of Christ. We love her. That's all there is to it!

We were reeling after Moriah left. We're older now, and meet more country's critiera for adopting so we checked it out again. We decided that if we were going to go international, we would go to Liberia. We also talked about foster-adoption (adopting through the foster care system). All the while we had our portfolio back in the domestic infant program with D.A. Blodgett. I really, really, have a heart for birth families and was having a difficult time letting go of the domestic infant process. Losing Moriah was heart-wrenching, but my desire to know my child's birth family trumped my aching heart. I think Jason would've gone international sooner than I, but as you know, that time never came.

Around this time, Jason and I also started a non-profit, Three Voices, an advocacy organization for birth families, adopted persons and adoptive families. We are now working on a website and in the process of choosing board members.

Backtrack a few months ago when Jason and I were up late last night watching TV. The news came on and the newscaster talked about a family in Michigan that had posted their adoption profile on their MySpace account. I turned to Jason, flabergasted. I'd had the same idea! I just never had the guts to do it. I immediately got online and emailed the family I'd heard about on the news. The woman and I emailed a couple times before she emailed me a list of webites she often visited that posted available adoption situations. This is not something I would recommend to someone new to adoption or who has not done considerable research. Even I am still a bit weary.

All of this adoption stuff was weighing very heavily on my mind and heart: not knowing whether we should go international or stay domestic, wanting the kids to be close in age, wanting an African American or bi-racial child. During our church service on Sunday, July 15th, I felt God speak to my heart. I felt Him tell me to let go of my worries and put my focus on Him. That He knew my deepest desires. I need not worry. Look to Him and let go. His voice was very clear. It felt so good.

Last Friday, I decided to check the above mentioned websites. Around 4:50pm I came across a posting for an African American baby boy, born July 15, 2007 in Ohio at 24 weeks gestation. I called the agency and we chatted about the situation and exchanged contact information. Shortly before the end of the call, the social worker mentioned that his birthmom did have one request that wasn't necessarily a dealbreaker, but was important. She had chosen a name for him and wanted it to be some part of his name, if possible. The name she had chosen for her son was Isaac. I surely did not want to assume anything, but I instantly felt a connection. And, of course, you've already read the rest of the story in a previous post.

I wanted to share our story because there are many of you who do not know us personally. It is very clear to Jason and I that God has been leading us from the very beginning. I remember the physical and emotional pain of that miscarriage years ago. I surely didn't know then what I know now. I wouldn't change a single thing. I love that God calls us to the edge of the cliff and then calls us to step off. It's not easy. But He never said it would be. And now, I'm sitting in a hotel room in Canton, Ohio, one baby in the hospital and the other sleeping beside me. I never thought I'd be here, but I'd never want to be anywhere else.

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Do you have questions or comments? We'd love to talk more on our blog about faith, adoption...whatever is on your mind. If you're not comfortable sharing your name, leave it anonymously. We look forward to hearing from you!

Blessings.

Answered Prayer

Praise the Lord! When we went to the hospital this evening, I had the opportunity to hold Isaac again! They did have to take him away a bit early but we got to snuggle for almost an hour. Tomorrow (if Isaac is up for it) it will be Daddy's turn and I'll be sure to get a pic of the two of them together. It felt so good to hold our little guy. He's still on the ventilator but hopfully in a day or two they can wean him off of it again.

This morning, the three of us went to the mall (hoping for a play area) but no such luck. Late afternoon we went to watch a balloon lift off but it was cancelled due to weather. Hannah did get to see three skydivers--she thought it was neat to see people falling out of the sky.

Jason heads home on Sunday. I'm really not looking forward to him going. It feels so much better to have him with us. It's like a part of our team is missing. He's going to try to come back next Friday.

I'm heading off to bed.

In the words of our two-year-old, "Night, night. Sleep tight. Snug as a bug!"

Hotel Address

Some of you have asked about an address...here you go!

McKinley Grand Hotel
ATTN: Evans' Family
320 Market Avenue S
Canton, OH 44702

Already a Downer

If you're praying for Isaac, he needs prayer for his breathing. He's doing about the same as last night, but we really need to be holding him. It's crucial for their growth and development to have human touch. We can touch him with our hands through the isolette but we all know that cuddling feels much better. Unfortunately, when he can't breathe well on his own, it's too stressful on his body to take him out of his bed and move him around. Please be praying that he would be able to breathe well on his own so he can be off the ventilator and in our arms.

Hannah's already getting restless. And it's raining today. We're trying to find fun activities for her that are close by and free. Pray we (specifically, I) can be patient with her.

Thank you.

Settling In

We've officially made camp here at the McKinley Grand Hotel. I have a dirty clothes pile, a snack table and a toy drawer. Life is good. And the beds are so luxurious I asked Jason if we could sleep in separate beds last night so I could have all the feather pillows to myself. Isn't that horrible?! To my own defense, they're double beds and we're used to a queen. Why waste a perfectly good bed???

In our stress, we've resorted to laughter. We were cracking up over dinner tonight over I don't even remember what but it seemed that everything we said was funny. And in the car today Hannah was singing her ABC's (demanding we sing, too) and every time Jason would stop singing she'd say, "Come on, Daddy!" The pic of her in the car is in the midst of a tantrum. I love tantrums. I wish I could have them, too. The kicking, screaming ones. That would feel good.

We were unable to hold Isaac today. He was not well enough. Essentially, he is not exhaling enough carbon dioxide and was placed back on the ventilator. The nurse practicioner said this is normal for his age and could be an on again off again issue for awhile. It is considered a setback, but one that is not unexpected. Once his carbon dioxide levels return to a normal level, they'll take him off the ventilator and give him a chance to try to breath on his own again. And so goes the cycle until he can maintain his own breathing. The one positive for little Isaac is that he's tolerating more food. No, not pretzels and Pepsi, but feedings every 2 hours instead of 3. As my Gram would say, "Praise the Lord!"

So we had to get fingerprinting done today. Another step in the Ohio adoption process. We drove about 30 mintues to Akron only to find out that their internet was not working and they could not scan our fingers. Forget ink and paper, folks, this is the 21st century! All computerized. When the computers work. Of course, the Lord was one step ahead and knew our little girl loves butterfly gardens so the lady at the fingerprinting place suggested we visit the local garden and butterfly conservatory. She gave us her membership card and off we went. As you can see, it was the perfect detour. BTW, we haven't gotten our fingerprinting results back yet, but my guess is we'll pass the FBI's background check. I think. Maybe. Hmmm.

Seriously, though, we've never done anything bad.

So I have to tell you the story about our lodging situation. As a stated, we're staying at the McKinley Grand Hotel. The Pro Football Hall of Fame is in the area and hosts a big festival every year. This year, (maybe every year, I don't know) the Hall of Fame reserved the entire hotel for the festival. And you know it's not the fans who are staying here, right? Well, the staff here told us the whole hotel was reserved for the Hall of Fame. Jason called the Hall of Fame today and shared with them our situation....can you guess where we are going to be staying for the next two weeks? They graciously allowed us to keep our room!!!! THANK YOU PRO FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME. We are only 7 minutes or so away from the hospital and that is a blessing. It's also nice to keep what little routine we have. We also have to give a shout out to the staff here. They have been so nice. At the end (or sometimes the beginning) of a long day, it feels good to have people around who go out of their way to be accommodating. THANK YOU MCKINLEY GRAND HOTEL STAFF.

And one more thing. Some of you have helped to get us connected here in Ohio. We have people bringing us food and helping to set up sitters for Hannah next week when I'm here alone. These are answers to prayer. We have a place to stay, food, and a family of believers to help care for our little girl. All so we can take care of our little boy. God has orchestrated every step, every phone call. And you have heard His call to serve. Community. Christ in action. This is the raw faith God intended. Doesn't it feel great?

Daddy Arrives

Locked my keys in the car today. With the engine running. Tow truck guy didn't arrive for over an hour and a half. Other than that, it was a good day!

I got to hold Isaac today for an hour. It's called Kangaroo Care--you hold them on your chest, skin to skin. He was a little fussy at first (he cries!! it's such a tiny little cry!!) and the nurse said he just needed some time to get used to being close to people. For now, our goal is to hold him skin to skin an hour in the afternoon and an hour in the evening. The nurse also told us that these little guys get the best sleep when they're being held like this...even better than in their beds.

Hannah and I drew a picure for Isaac this evening while we waited for Daddy to show up. The nurse taped her picture on Isaac's bed so he could "see" it. She wants to touch him, bless her little heart. She's allowed to come into his room (each of the preemies have their own room) but he's not allowed out of the isolette when she's in there. He has absolutely no immune system right now so one of the biggest concerns at this point is infection. So....big sister can't get too close. She wanted to show him her airplane she got today at Target so I lifted her up so he could see it. Mommies little sweety. She also keeps calling Isaac baby Moriah and baby Ephram (our friend's baby)...I have to remind her that his name is Isaac.

Daddy got to see and hold Isaac for the first time tonight. Jason is a phenominal dad. He jumped right in and put little Isaac on his chest. It was neat to see Daddy and his little boy (actually all I saw was tubes and a blanket but I knew he was under there somewhere!!) cuddling together. Of course, I forgot the camera. Daddy pics will come tomorrow.

Thank you for your love and support. It really is a blessing to have people around us who are praying for God to meet our needs and keep Isaac safe and growing. We can't wait to bring him home so you can all meet him!

Blessings.

Meeting Isaac

Wow. WHAT A DAY!

It all started last Friday when I became aware of a baby boy born July 15 (born at 24 weeks gestation) who needed a family. I called the agency (in Ohio) and talked with a social worker who shared the details about the baby and his birth family. I said we were interested and would send the necessary paperwork to be presented to his birthmom. On Monday afternoon I got the call that we were getting a baby boy! The rest of the day was a whirlwind! Packing, phone calls, more phone calls and planning for our trip to Ohio to meet Isaac. A friend from church offered to come with me to help out with Hannah for a couple of days until Jason can get here on Thursday.

Born at 24 weeks gestation, Isaac is doing very well. I can't even begin to use the medical terminology I heard this evening...I can say he is doing as well as can be expected given his extremely early date of arrival. He is 1 pound 8 ounces and is 13 inches long. His head is a little larger than a tangerine and his pinky finger is about the thickness of a toothpick. Medically, he has about a 50% chance of surviving. We're trusting God on this one.

Until tonight, he had never been out of his isolette and had never been held.

Isaac will be in Ohio for at least 2 more weeks. So, Hannah and I have transplanted ourselves until he can come home. Jason will come Thursday-Sunday and then we'll need others to come and help with Hannah...any takers?! After he is cleared to travel to Grand Rapids, he will be in the NICU there for another 2-3 months.

Surprisingly (and you'd understand surprisingly if you've ever been to Canton, OH) there are virtually zero hotel rooms available in the area. We managed to get a room at the most expensive place in town ($150/night). They are giving us a reduced rate and have booked us to the 1st of August. After that, we have to find somewhere else to stay from August 2-5. Food is scarce around here, too. They have a McDonalds. That's it. At least that we've seen. And if you're a 2 year old, you could eat "nuggets" all day long, but not me. I can handle a burger every few days and that's about it. We ate at the hospital tonight. Enough said.

I am glad to be here. I haven't even begun to wrap my mind around what is happening, but I'm thrilled that God has brought us to this moment.