Day by Day

Well, Isaac is not out of the woods, yet, but it looks as if the infection might be turning around. He looked a lot better today. We appreciate your prayers--God is answering.

We took Hannah to the Stark County Fair this morning. She loved the animals and the Merry-Go-Round. We also signed our preliminary adoption papers and paid our fees.

I think I'm coming down with a cold or something. Hopefully, it will go away quickly.

Tomorrow is the first MSU football game of the season so you know where we'll be from noon-4pm...in front of the tele.

Ok, so Jason says that the title of the blog is wrong. Is it? I shouldn't have a ' ? You tell me. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it. But I'm not sure I'm wrong, yet.

Off to bed, folks. Much love.

Isaac's Current Diagnosis

We learned today that Isaac has Necrotizing Entercolitis (NEC).

What Is Necrotizing Enterocolitis? (http://www.kidshealth.org/)
A gastrointestinal disease that mostly affects premature infants, NEC involves infection and inflammation that causes destruction of the bowel (intestine) or part of the bowel. Although it affects only one in 2,000 to 4,000 births, or between 1% and 5% of neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admissions, NEC is the most common and serious gastrointestinal disorder among hospitalized preterm infants.

He has his own nurse tonight in case he needs transport to another hospital for emergency surgery. Right now, he's stable. But as you can see, things can change very quickly. We believe another baby in the NICU died from NEC a few weeks ago.

Jason is here and we're headed to Akron tomorrow to sign our temporary placement paperwork and to pay the adoption agency. There are a few things going on around here this weekend to keep us busy and Hannah happy.

We appreciate your prayers for our son and our family

MI or OH...OH or MI....Where am I?

Hannah and I left home last night around 10pm and arrived at our OH home around 3am. I'll never do that again. That was stupid. Given my tiredness level and Hannah's dislike of long car rides, I think leaving around 6 or 7 pm works for both of us.

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I feel like I live two lives. We have this great thing going in MI...preparing for our new son! Tearing our house apart and putting it back together in record time (thanks to my DH and friends and neighbors). Picking out crib sheets and cute rugs. Thinking about rocking a baby again. It's a whirlwind of craziness and excitement. And then in OH, there is this hospital and this room, and in this room, now very sick again, is our little boy who we're crazy busy preparing for at home, but who is just barely hanging onto life. They are unsure what's wrong right now. They started running tests this morning and will continue tomorrow. He's de-sating (lowered oxygen levels) and having apnea's (stops breathing for more than 20 seconds) like crazy. He's off his feedings and back to IV "foods" until they figure out the problem. I know and understand that this is "normal" for an extreme preemie, but just because something is normal doesn't mean it isn't scary of difficult or painful. You know, like death. We'll all die. It's "normal" to die and for others around us to die. But we can all agree it's still very scary and difficult and painful. I explained to a friend tonight that I felt like I hit a brick wall when I walked into his room today. From crazy excitement to kick in the gut.

And, in all of this, I know God is in control of Isaac's life. I do feel comforted when I kind of meditate on God's control. I do believe that God's plans are best. I do find comfort in that. Thank goodness. If not for my faith, I would be a nutcase. I know some would argue that I am anyway, but those are just opinions. Right?! Right?!

All right, well, I think I'm going to go. I can't do much here at the hospital. Isaac is a sick little boy and just needs to rest. But not stop breathing, mind you. He's so bad!! I wonder if this is any indication of what kind of stinker he's going to be...

Please pray that the docs would be able to figure out what's wrong and treat it immediately and easily.

Horray!!

I just got the call from our OH agency that our ICPC paperwork has been approved. This means Isaac is cleared to come to MI. We also scheduled an appointment for Friday to sign our temporary placement paperwork. This means he can come home with us (when he's ready). Our finalization will occur in late February/early March. We'll have to return to OH to finalize his adoption at that time. After finalization, he's legally ours forever. I feel like we just turned a major corner and that's fantastic!!!! We were also informed that we can begin posting Isaac's pics again. I left our camera with his nurses so I will post his newest pics when I return (sometime tomorrow).

Papa (Jason's dad) came over today to spend time with Hannah. She just adores her Papa and of course had a wonderful time. They went for a walk in the wagon and played with her toys. Papa read her a book and put her down for a nap. I was able to get some errands taken care of without the help of my darling two-year old and that was nice.

Tonight, some friends from church are coming over to help Jason with the floor and I'm going out with the ladies (from church).

Right now, Hannah is Swiffering. She loves it. If only she would love it in 10 years.

Isaac is doing great! If he continues to tolerate his feedings, they will remove his IV "foods" tomorrow. This is a big deal. Thank you for praying for our little boy.

Well, I need to pick up the house. I'll be leaving late tonight or tomorrow. I'll be home for 2 short weekend trips in September and then will not return until Isaac comes home. I think I have a love/hate relationship with this 5.5 hour drive. I'm pretty sure Hannah's is more hate than love.

I'll be blogging from OH tomorrow. See you then!

A little more rest for Mom

I figured I should give Tiffany another break from Blogging, so here I go again.

Issac had another good day. His feedings continue to increase and the amount of oxygen he requires has remained low. We are prepared for a setback, but we continue to pray that he will stay on this improving path. Tiffany will be back in Ohio on Wednesday, and I know she is looking forward to holding her little boy again.

As for the house, today we did not get anything done. Tomorrow some friends from church are coming over to help me finish the floors and help us remove all the trash--old carpet and debris from our flooded basement. We will be ready to put the finishing touches on the upstairs during the upcoming work weekend.

Tiffany and Hannah had a good day together, while I worked. They went to lunch at Rose's on Reeds Lake in East Grand Rapids and visited with one of our neighbors. They also got some appointments taken care of.

After I got home, Tiffany and I went out to dinner. The young women staying with us watched Hannah. It was a nice night out. We need to do that more often, but we rarely have time these days.

Tomorrow my Dad is coming over to spend time with Hannah while Tiffany runs some errands. Hannah is very excited to see "Papa," and I know my Dad is excited to see his granddaughter. I would ask that everyone reading this continue to pray for my Dad as he continues to struggle with the loss of my Mom just a few months ago.

That's it for tonight. More from Tiffany tomorrow.

Another Work Day

Jason and a friend/neighbor of ours starting laying the flooring today. They finished about half of our bedroom. It looks great! I can't wait to get all our things back in there--it will be like a brand new room! While Jason was upstairs, I was in the basement with Hannah cleaning up from our wall leak. I mopped the floor with bleach water and put together a huge trash pile. It was tedious to wipe everything down and re-organize it, but, it had to be done! All in all, we accomplished quite a bit. This evening we went to church. It was sooo nice to see friends again and to worship with our own church community. It was definitely needed! This could be one of the last times we're there until mid-November. I try not to think about that.

Isaac had a great day. Every time I call I get a little nervous--never knowing what to expect. So far, he's been doing very well with no setbacks. I know setbacks are par for the course, but it sure is nice to get good reports. I'm eager to go back and see him with my own two eyes!

Spent a bit of time visiting with neighbors today. I love my neighbors. I view them as part of my family. I always look forward to seeing them and talking to them. One of our neighbors has a daughter who just started at Michigan State (our alma mater). It's so exciting to hear about her experiences (and their worries). I loved college. I love Michigan State. I promised to send her a few care packages this fall. I also visited with a neighbor who is in college and just moved from home for the first time. She's been Hannah's babysitter since Hannah was born. It's cool to see her living on her own for the first time, too. It makes me realize how old I am!

Time to hit the hay. On the futon in the basement. I'm glad Jason and I are so adaptable. Our life would be even more crazy if we weren't.

Looking forward to hearing from all of you tomorrow. We seem to get more comments during the week. Thanks so much for keeping track of our family. We love you all!

Tired!

What a day! We managed to get all the carpet and padding off the floor and Jason pulled up all the staples. The floor is ready for the new laminate! We also took apart and painted the metal railing around our stairs. It might not sound like much, but we worked from morning 'til night. Throw in an oil change, haircut, trip to Lowe's and Target and a two-year old and we are ready for bed. Except that our bed is "in storage" right now while we wait to get the floor in. So, we're camping on the futon in the basement.

Isaac had a good day. Everything is status quo and that's good. Really, no other news to report.

We are looking to set up a Guy's Work Day on Saturday, September 8th, 10am-5pm. We need about 5 guys to come help Jason get some things done. Current plan of things to do: install flooring, paint stairwell, paint stairs, paint dining room, install railing, get rid of trash and move furniture.

We are looking to set up a Ladies Work Day on Sunday, September 9th, 12-5pm. We will need about 4 ladies to come help me (Tiff) get some things done. Current plan of things to do: hang rods and curtains, arrange furniture, organize Isaac's room and master bedroom, put crib together, decorate rooms and clean up.

If you can commit to helping on one of these days, please email me at evanstm@msualum.com We would really appreciate the help. If you cannot commit, but decide at the last minute you want to stop by, please do! We really will need help, though. We cannot get all of this done by ourselves.

It would also be helpful if a couple people would volunteer to come over and really clean the house near the end of October or beginning of November. I will most likely not return home after September 23 until Isaac comes home with us mid-November.

Thank you very much for all your love and support and help. I only ask because I know we cannot do all of this alone. It is very important for things to be clean, here, when Isaac comes home. We do have a dog and cat and we want to do as much as we can to keep our house up so we don't have to get rid of them.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Tonight: Short and Sweet

Basement sprung a pretty significant leak. Jason had to tear down a wooden storage cabinet that was completely ruined. Water pooled a bit but we got it all cleaned up. The water was spurting through the wall--it was funny and horrible at the same time. The joys of home ownership.

On a good note, a friend and neighbor who works at our Lowe's on Plainfield shared our story with her store manager and they sold us all the materials we will need for our new floor for just under $450. The original cost of all the supplies was around $1,400. A big thanks to Lowe's for giving us a GREAT deal. Now, we just need to install it. Anyone in the GR area that would like to help, let us know!

While Jason was ripping up the cabinet in the basement, our friend and live-in graduate student and myself began ripping the carpet out of our upstairs--we started with the stairs. We all finished our nightly duties around 11:30.

Isaac is up on his oxygen but other than that doing well. His nurse said he was awake and looking around earlier. She said she gave him his pacifier. It is the smallest thing you'll ever see. I'll have to take a picture of it when I return.

Hannah had a tough time falling asleep for her nap today. I think she's feeling the stress of this whole thing. I know she'll be allright but I do worry about her.

Heading off to bed!

HOT

It is soooo hot and muggy today. A person can barely breathe outside--seriously.

Hannah's taking a nap and I'm packing up. Yep, we're headed home for a little under a week. I held Isaac this morning and sang Jesus Loves Me. I know he's always in God's care and always will be. No need to worry "extra" just because we're not here. But, I do anyway.

Thanks to your comments, I made an effort to talk with the staff at the hospital and we're changing gears, folks! Now we're asking for a hardwood floor! Or Pergo or whatever looks like wood?! No carpet in Isaac's room. We're also going to need to clean the carpet in the basement...we definitely can't afford to change the carpet down there.

I've been making a list of things I'll need to do when I go home. Really, this is the last length of time I'll be home before Isaac comes with us. Hannah and I will be home again for a short time in September, but have family obligations during that time so we will not be able to get anything done. Isaac will probably require more work than a full-term baby so I want to try to get caught up before he comes home. Getting the flooring done is the biggest issue since we can't do anything else (crib, dresser, etc) until that is finished. I figured I should get all of caught up on doctor/dentist appointments, too, that way, we'll just have Isaac's appointments for awhile. Jason was laughing while we were on the phone today because I'm so anal about scheduling and organizing. It helps me deal with stress--to plan and schedule and organize. I think it drives some of my friends nutty, too, that I'm always trying to plan and schedule. They all love me anyway. I think.

All right, well, I seriously need a shower and have to start packing. We'll be going out for dinner with our host family and then hitting the road around 7ish. We should be home by 1amish.

I'll talk to you tomorrow from good ol' Grand Rapids. BTW, the Polish Festival is going on this weekend downtown GR--we'll probably head down there--something fun to do. My grandpa came to America from Poland as a boy/teenager. I think that's kind of cool. Anyway, so Jason was telling me about the Polish Festival this weekend and that they were putting up the tents all wrong. HA HA HA. Funny guy.

Later gators!

New Plan

I have a few new things to share!

Jason called the adoption agency in OH today to follow-up on the Isaac picture fiasco. We will have a definite yes or no on Monday. So, that's that!

Next item of business.

Jason and I talked (alot) today and decided we are NOT going to transfer Isaac to MI. We're going to hold out until he is actually released from the hospital sometime in November. A few thoughts on this. I've kind of had a feeling for awhile that we might stick it out. I'm calling this the Holy Spirit. Enter in the numerous phone calls I've made over the last few days trying to figure out insurance, transport services, costs involved, etc. etc. etc. And we really feel like it's in Isaac's best interest to stay here, and really, in our best interest, too. I really want to go home. Jason really wants us to come home. But, we just feel like this is where we're supposed to be. We've trusted God since the first phone call. We're going to keep trusting.

So, what does all this look like? Well, Jason will cut back a bit on his trips to OH. He's got a lot of work to catch up on and staying home will give him an opportunity to get it done. Hannah and I will also plan to make at least one, if not two more trips home before Isaac comes with us. After talking with Isaac's doctor today, it will be especially important to be here after he hits 34 weeks. By this time, they're hoping he'll be ready for a bottle and able to be held more. Essentially, we'll be beginning to prepare he and us for his transition home.

Jason and I talked through the rest of August and all of September tonight. We laid out our plans the best we could. We'll tackle October and November as it gets closer. We just have to take it one day at a time.

For those of you who want to help, we're working on a list of things we'll be needing. For starters, we're going to need new carpet in our upstairs. It's old and very dirty. With Isaac's expected breathing issues, new carpet is in order. If you know someone who can help with this, let us know. If not, we're going to try talking to Lowe's and see if they will donate carpet and labor. Everything is worth a try!

All right, well, I'm off to read for awhile. I didn't go up to the hospital tonight. It just didn't work out.

Thank you, thank you, for all your love. Even from people we don't know! God is doing great things, here, I just know it.

Papework, Paperwork

Since I have a few minutes, I thought I'd blog, now.

I spent a couple hours at the hospital this morning. If Isaac stays healthy and on track, as soon as our adoption paperwork to take him to MI is complete, he will be able to be transferred to Grand Rapids. In my mind, I'm hoping for 3 weeks from tomorrow. All of this requires a lot of involvement from a lot of people and organizations. I can't stand that I'm completely out of the loop. I'm trying to do as much legwork as I can, but it all comes down to a few key people doing their part. I'm trying to be patient but it's frustrating when "their" jobs end at say, 5pm, but my life is 24/7.

I also began to make calls about the actual transport from OH to MI. We're looking at at least $5,000. And that's for ground transport. I'm still waiting for a call from Isaac's doc to get the specifics on what kind of medical team he will require. Jason and I are trusting that God is going to provide the money needed to make this happen. We've trusted Him so far, and will continue to.

I've become quick friends with another mom in the NICU. She brings her baby girl home tomorrow. It's amazing to see her baby in clothes and drinking from a bottle. I hope I'm there tomorrow when she leaves. I'd like to say goodbye.

Still waiting to hear when we can post pics of Isaac, again. He's getting bigger! And his little back is hairy! It's really cute.

BTW, if you want me to specifically answer a question or email you, please use my email address: evanstm@msualum.com I can't privately reply to a comment. I hope that makes sense?! But, lovin' the comments! Keep 'em comin'!

Grrrr!

For the last 2 hours I've been trying to find some pictures that seem to have gone missing on my computer. It's driving me crazy! I wouldn't be so frustrated but the pics are of the kids. Hopefully, some of my computer guru friends can find them for me.

Well, I'm definitely going to the hospital tomorrow. I haven't seen Isaac or talked to a doctor since Friday. Overall, it sounds like he's doing well. I still haven't heard the definitive results of the ultrasound regarding his lungs, yet.

I believe the adoption process officially started today. We faxed some paperwork to an attorney in town today and apparently he gets it to the powers that be. This is all ridiculously crazy. I've talked to several other adoptive families in the last few weeks and it's amazing how difficult this process is for nearly everyone. I'm so excited for Three Voices to be "the"advocate for triad members. I've been working on web content and hope to get it to my web guy this week.

Still raining. But, I have my window open and love to hear the sound of the rain so I hope it continues until I fall asleep.

Sometimes I feel like this will never end. I love adventures and try to look at this as a huge one. And it is. But we just all want to be together as a family.

I know I keep saying this, but thank you for your cards, comments and emails. It feels good to know that we're not alone.

Until tomorrow!

It's Raining, It's Pouring

It's been raining most of the day. It's actually been kind of nice. We had the front door open and listened to the rain fall and felt the cool breeze. Fall is my favorite season so today was especially nice...I feel like it's right around the corner!

Hannah was back to her usual self today and that was great. We may go to the hospital tomorrow--we'll see how we're all feeling. So far, Jason and I are fine.

We did find out today that Isaac's billiruben levels are off so they did an ultrasound of his liver. Results tomorrow. Other than that, he's doing well.

Jason leaves in the morning--he has a hearing in the early afternoon.

The one pic is of the bracelets I started making yesterday. The craft show is in November and my goal is to make 200. Yikes! I have to do about 3 a day to get them all done. The pic of Hannah surrounded by toys was taken in the basement. The couple we are staying with have toys galore for their grandkids so Hannah LOVES it. They actually went away this weekend to visit friends and brought me back a travel mug from Beaner's. I love it. Just another reminder of home and my favorite coffee. BTW, thanks to a very good friend of mine who sent me a pound of Beaner's coffee. I've been drinking it everyday!

Gonna go spend some time with my hubby. Still lovin' the comments! I check a million times a day to see who's out there in blogland! Thank you so much.

Love ya.

Big Sister--Down & Out Today

Hannah woke up last night, vomiting. It continued into today. I can only guess that she caught a bug from someone at the daycare she's been going to while I visit with Isaac. So, Daddy, Mommy and Hannah spent the entire day on the couch in front of the TV. I think we watched every possible reality show ever created. Did you know that Hulk Hogan has a reality show? He seems like a great dad and husband. You should all check it out.

Jason had to go to the store today to grab a few things and when he came back Hannah told him that she "burped on Mommy." We laughed sooo hard. So, in our family, we will refer to vomiting as burping. Isn't that cute?! Hmm. I love memories like this. She really did puke all over me. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. And she looked so pitiful. She didn't understand what was going on. Poor kiddo. Hopefully, it's over and Jason and I don't get sick. I hate throwing up.

Since Hannah was sick, we decided to take a few days off from visiting Isaac. He is very susceptible to infection/disease so it's not worth it for us to take the chance of making him sick. We'll see how we're all feeling Monday and maybe go back up there, then. We called to check on him several times today and he is doing well. They are very slowly increasing his feedings. His oxygen levels are good and he's not de-sating (is that how you spell that?!). Hopefully, we can get this adoption process rolling on Monday so we can get Isaac home and return to a little bit of normalcy. Hannah has been asking about home more and more. I think we're all weary of this. BUT!! God is good and is meeting our needs. We have faith in His plan--and His plan is all that matters!

For the last few hours, Jason has been working and I've been making beaded bracelets for my fundraiser in November. I'm thinking of having a bead party here in Canton...it would be a great way for the people here to help us out a bit....anyone interested?

One other thing. A friend of a friend has a 4/5 year old nephew that was seriously injured in a mowing accident last night. The little boys name is Bryson. He had his leg amputated in surgery early this morning. He and his family need prayer! You can read more at www.hummelnest.blogspot.com

God is the ONLY one who can heal, save lives and truly fill the gap. And we can petition God through prayer. He hears every single one. Please lift Bryson up in prayer tonight.

Isaiah 65:24: Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

Isaac's Family

We're Isaac's family. I haven't given that a lot of thought, yet, but we're his family. I like that. I wonder what he thinks. I know, not much of anything, yet. Little buddy.

His pick line came out last night somewhere between holding him and getting him back in the isolette so that was his biggest "procedure" today--a new pick line (this is a minuscule tube that he gets his fats and vitamins through). Once he can fully tolerate his feedings (and the amount he needs to be getting) he will no longer need the fats and vitamins.

Jason arrived this afternoon. We had a few spats about adoption paperwork related items and then had pizza with the family we're living with. Jason and "Grandpa" went out on their sailboat while Hannah, "Grandma" and I went for a walk. It's been a nice evening.

I'm still tired. I'm ready to just be home, I think. The doc mentioned yesterday that he should be ready to go home (back to GR...not home, home...as long as he doesn't get sick again or go too far downhill) when our adoption paperwork is finished (hopefully in less than a month).

I forgot to mention that Wednesday he was officially a month old. Congrats, Isaac! Happy one-month birthday!

Well, Jason just got back from sailing (he deserved a nice break) so we're going to head up to the hospital. Oh, I had an informal interview today with a human resources rep at the hospital to be published in the hospital's internal newsletter--just about our experiences at the hospital and in Canton in general. I was glad to give them "good press." They've all been very kind and accommodating.

Peace! Outta here!

Back to Canton

Gonna keep it short. I'm tired.



Hannah and I were on the highway at 4:04 this morning. We arrived at the hospital around 10:30. All in all, the trip went well. I feel bad for Jason that he drives back and forth every weekend. What a great guy!



Hannah went right to sleep tonight and I headed out to the hospital. His nurse immediately let me hold him....and for 2 hours! He went back on the C-pap this morning. He is progressing well, probably because of the steroids. The nurse said it takes about 5-7 days for them to wear off. He could continue to do well or he could backslide. All I know is today he did GREAT! "Praise the Lord!" (right Gram?!) He is "eating" 1cc every few hours. 1cc is 1/5 of a teaspoon.



Jason will be here tomorrow evening.



Off to bed for me!

Grand Rapids: Day Three

Well, if we leave in the morning as planned, we'll be on the road at 4am. Are you laughing? I am. No, really, it would work better for Hannah to have a few hours of sleep on the road, stop for breakfast and then only have about 2 hours left. We'll see what happens when the alarm goes off at 3:30.

Isaac again, did well today. It sounds like today is the last day of his steroids, so we'll see how his week finishes. I'm hoping to hold him tomorrow. Our little buddy, buddy. I still haven't bought him anything. I've looked, though. Every time I go to Target, I look. I'm very excited to see him. Jason will be down on Friday around 5pm. We'll all be together for a few days--we're looking forward to that.

Some of you have asked about Isaac's pictures. The agency in Ohio requested we remove them and not post any more due to privacy issues. We are awaiting their go-ahead to re-post them. It could be days or months. This is part of the difficult process of adoption and the reality that we have absolutely no rights. He is our son in our hearts, but not on paper.

Hannah and I went to Beaner's today. It was delicious. I had a Grande Iced Carmel Marvel. Just typing it makes me want another one. Hannah had her usual whipped cream. She sat in this big overstuffed chair and ate it with a spoon. She's just adorable. She also had her 2-year checkup today. She weighed a whopping 24 pounds. And she talked up a storm to the doctor--no worries about her verbal skills!

All right, well, I need to finish packing and cuddle with my hubby before I head out tomorrow.

Next time I blog, I'll have seen Isaac again!!!!

Grand Rapids: Day Two

Isaac is officially off the oscillator (hopefully, although not definitely, for good). He's back on the ventilator and doing fairly well. He's getting 1cc of formula every 6 hours to see how his body tolerates it. I'm anxious to get back to Ohio to see him. I'm hoping when I get back, I'll be able to hold him again. They did warn us that once he's finished his course of steroids, he could lose some ground again. We're taking it one phone call at a time!

Hannah and I ran more errands today. We also played outside on the hammock. We took turns pushing each other--we were both laughing--it was fun. After Jason got home, we had spaghetti for dinner and then went for a walk. It was mostly a "normal" day. Except that we have a son in the NICU in Ohio. Weird.

Really, now is the easy part. There is a pretty big chance he'll come home on oxygen or with a feeding tube or who knows what else. I trust that God will prepare us for his homecoming. By the way, his due date is November 4. Crazy, huh?

I have to get to vacuuming.

'Til tomorrow!

Grand Rapids: Day One

Isaac has not been tolerating his formula. They're thinking that because he's been on the oscillator so long, it's disturbing his gut. They're going to try a new formula tomorrow. No word, yet, on when he'll be off the oscillator. He's currently 2lbs 15ounces.

I visited DeVos Children's Hospital today--the hospital he'd be transferred to in Grand Rapids. I talked with a social worker and toured the NICU. I've begun the process of getting to know the folks here and that's good.

Hannah played with her best friend and her Papa. She went for a walk and a wagon ride. I know she had a great day. That means I had a great day, too. Jason and I had lunch together downtown and that was fun. Hannah and I went to the store and stocked Daddy up on frozen dinners and lunch foods. I made taco salad for dinner and it was yummy!

Tomorrow is more errands in preparation for our leaving on Thursday. I will plan to go for another 3-4 weeks. Hopefully, we'll know more about a possible transport at that time.

God has a plan for Isaac's life. I pray His plan would be fulfilled.

Good night.

A Little Relief

This morning after showers and Waffle House, we went to church at RiverTree Christian Church. It's nice to have a "home" church so far away from our own church family. Their adoption ministry, Born in Our Hearts, has offered so much help. They also raised money to help pay for our rental car. What a blessing! Thank you very much for taking care of us. Everyday we've been reminded of our community of believers who have come around and supported us.

After church, we headed to the hospital to check-in on Isaac. His oxygen concentration levels were down and his xrays were looking better so we made the decision to head back to Grand Rapids together. The doctor and nurse assured us that if something did happen while we were gone, that he would never be alone. I know he is in God's care and that's what is most important. It was a tearful goodbye but I knew it was the right decision.

So...we're home!! We did stop at Ikea on the way, it was crazy busy. I got the few things I'd been wanting and we were back on the road. We surprised Jason's dad, who has been staying here taking care of the pets all weekend. He was greeted by Hannah, running at him, yelling, "Papa! Papa!" It was sooo sweet. Our neighbors came over and hugged us and said it was good to see us home for a few days. I never knew it would feel so good to walk into my house. It definitely needs a good cleaning, but I'll work on that tomorrow! We already have a play date scheduled with Hannah's best friend in the morning, right after breakfast.

One more thing. I'm planning a beading party for this Wednesday, August 15th at 7pm at my house in Grand Rapids. It's been on my calendar for some time and since I'm here, I'm moving ahead with it. Our goal is to make jewelry to sell at a craft fair in November to raise money for our adoption, another family's adoption and a birth family (we've been praying that God would reveal the families we should help support). So, if you want to help, you can join us at my house or you can make some jewelry on your own and get it to us. Starting next year, all of the proceeds will go to other families with the hope of someday, raising enough money, to fund a family's entire adoption and give a birth family a very nice gift.

On the way home, we kept talking about how great it will be to have Isaac here, at home, with us. It doesn't even seem real yet, everything that's happening. It's like two separate realities. I'm as at ease as I can be, so far away from my new son, because I know the staff at Aultman are taking good care of our little boy. And, to the wonderful family we're staying with...sorry we left with only a note! Hannah was already asking about you! Thank you for making your home, ours. We plan to return to Ohio on Thursday.

Jason is about to call and check in on our little buddy and then we're heading off to B-E-D!

Good night!

Our Third Saturday in Canton, OH

I've been telling the nurses I have only one complaint: I wasn't in love with the quilt on Isaac's isolette (each baby has a quilt that covers their isolette--keeps the light and sound out and gives it a homey look). Well, today, a new batch of quilts came in and Isaac got a new one!! Thank you to Tiny Hugs and Stitches for making quilts for all our babies!!

Jason brought Hannah up to the hospital earlier today while I took a nap. Thanks, honey. After visiting with Isaac for a bit, they had a Daddy/Daughter date in the hospital cafeteria complete with a strawberry smoothie and a rice krispy treat. Jason said she loved it. Of course she did. It wasn't carrots or potatoes or any kind of green vegetable. I'm glad they had some time together and I enjoyed a few hours by myself.

We're still unsure if I should travel back to MI this week. It's difficult to know what to do. Stay or go. Our nurse tonight reassured us that if something did happen when we were not in town, he would never be alone. I know that, but I would feel terrible if one of us were not here when he died. It probably sounds a little morose that I keep talking about him dying. But he is critical. And his status could get worse very quickly. It's reassuring to know I'm only minutes away. But I would like to come home for a few days. Hannah would like it. Jason would like it. We'll be making our decision tomorrow or Monday. Jason's trying to tempt me with Ikea. He says that if I decide to come home with him, we can stop and I can shop a bit. We'll see.

We had a very nice dinner with the couple we're staying with and some of their extended family. Lots of laughing and joking around. It was relaxing and fun. On the menu: corned beef, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, a neat kind of coleslaw that was very good, baklava and cake. It was delish.

I'm going to cut it short tonight. We're both pretty tired and just want to relax a bit. Heading off to church in the morning and then a relaxing day around the house and hospital.

Nighty night.

A little rest for mom

I decided that I would take a shot at blogging and give Tiffany a little break. If you don't like my post, don't worry, Tiffany will be back at it tomorrow. Anyway, I arrived in Canton around 4:30 p.m. today. Surprisingly, it feels more like home being down here with my family then it does being back in Grand Rapids without them. It was great walking into our "new" home and being greeted by Tiffany and Hannah. A young women from our church who is living with us in GR, is also down here. After I arrived we all went to visit Isaac for a few minutes and then went to dinner. Our "nanny" is watching Hannah right now, so Tiffany and I are alone with Isaac at the hospital.

Isaac is a lot bigger today then he was when I last saw him on Sunday. In fact, he is now 3lbs 1oz. His weight and size is somewhat deceptive, however, because a lot of it is merely a result of retaining fluids. He seems to be doing fairly well today, and we are hoping that his pneumonia has finally clearing up. It can be frustrating to watch his condition continue to fluctuate--one day we are up and the next day were down. I guess this is just part of marathon we have before us. We must lean on each other and rely on God to make it through. God has really challenged me during the last four or five months--losing Moriah, my Mom, and now Isaac's situation--to rely more on him and less on myself. You realize just how small you are in comparison to God, and more importantly, how much you need him when your life takes so many unexpected and difficult turns.

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you reading this post for your prayers and kindness. I have been amazed at the outpouring of love and support for our family. God has placed a lot of great people in our lives.

God is ALWAYS one step ahead...

I spent a few hours at the hospital with Isaac this morning while Hannah was in "school." I forgot to mention it, but I helped change Isaac's diaper yesterday for the first time. I got to help today, too. I also got to hold his feeding tube while it drained into his stomach. I never thought I'd look forward to doing such tasks. I think the staff can tell I'm starting to wear down and are trying to include me as much as they can. It's been very nice. While Isaac is stable, he is not doing well. He had his fourth blood transfusion today. The nurse said his body is focused on the pneumonia and is not creating enough red blood cells. It's very difficult to explain to everyone that even though he is currently stable, he is very critical. This is very much an hour by hour process. We are waiting out the weekend to see if he is "well" enough for all of us to leave for a few days. One positive, as of late this afternoon, he was tolerating his feedings and they were going to increase them from 2cc's to 3cc's every three hours (like 1/3 of a teaspoon or something crazy like that).

Some of you have asked if our adoption is completed, yet. Actually, it has not even begun. We have a young woman living with us and she, too, has to be fingerprinted as part of our adoption process. She will arrive in Ohio tomorrow to get that done. So, our adoption process will begin when all of our paperwork can be sent out to be approved. We have to have approval from Ohio and Michigan to take him across state lines. Once that has been established, we will have temporary custody of him (right now he is in the custody of the agency in Ohio). His adoption will (hopefully) be finalized about 6 months after we have temporary custody. We will be returning to Ohio to finalize his adoption. As of now, (and probably for the next 2-3 weeks) we have absolutely no legal tie to Isaac whatsoever. Interesting, huh?

I got a call from the hotel today letting us know a gift basket had been dropped off for us. Hannah and I had been planning on visiting anyway, so it worked out great. We visited for awhile and then left with our basket from Malone College. We had dinner at Denny's while waiting for the tornado warning to clear and then visited Isaac before heading home (home in Ohio). Hannah had a bath so she's nice and clean for Daddy's arrival tomorrow and then off to bed (I think she fell asleep singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star). I'm cleaning up our messy room and decide to open the gift basket. T-shirt, hat, huge blanket....cool stuff. They also sent a daily devotional. Each devotion is written by an alumnus. Cool, I thought. I figured it would be neat to read the devotions everyday so I turn to today...

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Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Letting Go
I've thought of "trust" as the superhero of stressful scenarios when my trust in God comes to rescue me from whatever jam I'm in. But the other day I realized if my trust in God is active only when I'm in an unusual situation I can't control, than I rarely trust at all.

It's easy to call out for help when I don't have any other recourse, but it's difficult to say "I surrender all. your will be done." Instead, I argue: What if God doesn't come through? What if He takes my life where I don't want to go? Instead of surrendering, I cling to pieces of myself hoping to cash them in if God doesn't hold up his end. But God doesn't work like that. With Him, it's all or nothing.

I'm reminded of when God promised Abraham, who was childless, that he would father a great nation. Then when God finally gave him his son, Isaac, He told Abraham to kill Isaac as a sacrifice. Instead of saying, "Okay God. I usually trust you, but this time you've gone too far," Abraham went ahead, took his son, and built the alter. He was willing to lay down the one thing that fulfilled God's promise to him, knowing that God could be trusted.

I want that kind of trust.

I so often trust God only with the worst areas of my life, when I should trust Him with the best as well. Just as Abraham laid down Isaac on the altar, God wants us to trust Him enough to let go, knowing that He won't.

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And, that's exactly what we're called to do everyday. With our spouses and children, jobs and decisions. Give it up. Let go. Take the leap. If there is something God has been laying on your heart recently, or maybe for a very long time, NOW is the time. It might be scary, it might be very painful. It might be the faith you've heard about but never experienced for yourself. JUST DO IT. And you'll experience a life you never thought was possible.

Blessings to each of you.

Some More Ways to Help

Many of you "back home" have asked for additional ways that you can support us while we are in Ohio. Some suggestions:

--Mowing our lawn. Jason has had to do it after work during the week. DONE! THANK YOU.

--Offering to take a shift with our pets. There are times during the week that we could use help playing with our dog/letting her out and feeding our pets.

--Making meals for Jason when he's home.

--Vaccumning our house.

--Maybe you have an idea of what you could do...let me know! If you can and want to help, please email me at evanstm@msualum.com

Another Day in Paradise

Ok, well, maybe it would've been paradise if we were on a tropical island enjoying a little R&R instead of in the Midwest heat wave but we're trying to look on the bright side, right?

Last week, I noticed a day care center for the hospital and inquired in the NICU. They said it was for employees. There's been a lady at the hospital helping to meet my needs in the area so I called her and if she could hook us up--she did! Hannah spent a couple hours there today while I went up to the hospital to see Isaac. I even had a quick lunch all to myself. It was really nice. I'm planning to utilize the daycare a few times a week. She seemed to like it. I asked her tonight at bedtime if she wanted to go to "school" again tomorrow and she asked if there would be lunch again...I said yes. She was excited!

Tonight, the NICU hosted a Preemie Parent Meeting so Hannah and I went together. We got to make name tags with different colored ribbons. Every color represented a preemie complication: from PDA's to feeding issues. We had to use the ribbons that represented Isaac's complications. I wasn't sure if I should be proud or not, but Hannah and I had six different colored ribbons! It was nice to talk with other families who are/were experiencing the same things as we are. I had one major takeaway from the meeting: this is going to be a long road. Seriously.

Do you like the diaper picture? The small one is Isaac's diaper and the big one is Hannah's--she wears a size 4. Crazy amazing, huh?

The nurses were going to try feeding Isaac again tonight. I will find out if he tolerated his feedings in the morning. My gram asked again about his weight...I forget what he's at. He's fluctuating because he's not tolerating his feedings and because he was just treated with a diuretic....he's 2 pounds something. Sorry. He's on antibiotics for the pneumonia for 10 days. After that, they'll test him again to see if it's gone....

We're talking about an opportunity for Hannah and I to come home for a couple days. We have to talk to the doctor after this weekend to see if he's stable enough. Meaning, we don't want him to die when no one is here. Him being on the oscillator is pretty serious. Normal for his age, but still serious. So, we'll see. It's difficult to know where the priority lies. (Did I spell that right?)

All right, enough for tonight. I'm gonna hit the hay. Thanks for following along. Please continue to pass our blog along...it's always fun to see how connections are made!

Until tomorrow...

In Response to commenter, "Another Dads' Mother"

Yes!! Jason IS a fabulous father and husband and it is very difficult for him to leave us behind and be home without us. He is definitely the better half of our marriage--hands down!!! I love him so much and he really keeps us all together. He's driving back and forth every weekend so he can continue to pay the bills at home and then be available for us, here. If he had a choice, he would stay here--no question. I COULD NOT do ANY of this without him. He carries a very large burden, too, yet is very strong for us. I'm very sure his mom is looking down on him with a very proud heart. Thank you for your comment.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

This was the verse that came to me this afternoon while processing today's events. There are many things I cannot share about our journey because it involves other individuals and entities whose confidentiality, at this point, needs to be maintained. And, let's be honest, "politics" are alive and well in most places--not just our government. This is fairly normal in the adoption process, but no less frustrating.

So, this verse came to me in the midst of my crazy day, and I just kept repeating it to myself. In the notes at the bottom of the page in my Bible, in reference to this verse, it says: (In the life of a believer) God works in "all things"--not just isolated incidents--for our good. This does not mean that all that happens to us is good. Evil is prevalent in our fallen world, but God is able to turn every circumstance around for our long-range good. Note that God is not working to make us happy, but to fulfill his purpose. I'll tell you, I was not happy today. But as I reflected on this verse, I kept thinking that God would use today's circumstances, somehow, someway, to make me a better follower of Him. Right off the bat I could start with more patience and less anger. But that's no fun. JK.

One more thing on this topic. I mentioned in an earlier post that Jason and I have begun a non-profit, Three Voices. Our organization has been designed to ADVOCATE for members of the adoption triad (birth families, adopted persons and adoptive families) which is exactly what we need right now. There are few, if any, organizations that actively advocate for triad members. There are support groups and then attorneys and agencies who facilitate adoptions, but no one (that we can find for domestic adoption, anyway) who solely advocates for triad members. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, this organization is what God created me to do. No question. You will definitely be hearing more about Three Voices in the future.

Enough of that. Isaac has a strain of pneumonia. He is receiving antibiotics. Quoting his nurse today, he is "definitely critical." The Infectious Diseases doc stopped by while I was there today and gave me the impression his antibiotics should work. So, I'm hoping he goes from "definitely critical" to better, soon. Little buddy. I just want him to GET BETTER! However, they keep reminding me that all of this stuff is par for the course. He is just not meant to be in our world, yet. Poor little buddy. Please continue to pray that God would heal him and grow his little body. Especially his lungs.

Hannah and I went for a short walk this evening. It was nice. The couple we are staying with have a dog so we took him, too. Hannah pushed her dolly in the stroller and I walked the dog. It was almost normal.

Jason will be here Friday night...I'm so excited!!!

Lovin' the comments! Keep it up!!!

Settling In (again)

Hannah and I said goodbye to our hotel family this morning. I promised we would be back to visit at least once a week.

We stopped by the hospital to check in on Isaac. Our prayers have been answered! He no longer has a PDA. Unless it re-opens, which is not out of the question, he does not need surgery. He is still on the oscillator and having breathing difficulties, but it will just take time for his lungs to continue to form and grow.

After our morning visit, we drove to our new Ohio home. We unloaded what seemed to be an unending amount of stuff and began the unpacking process. Hannah got to play with a ton of "new" toys while I made phone calls and organized paperwork.

We also got some groceries today, visited Isaac again and spent some time talking and laughing with our newfound family.

It feels good to be in a house, but I also feel sad. It makes me miss home a lot more. In the hotel, I just felt like I was on a perpetual vacation. Now, I miss my dog and cat and especially my neighbors. I do my best to take it one day at a time, but sometimes the reality of all of this hits me and I feel like crawling into a dark cave until someone comes to carry me out.

I love to read your comments and emails. I really love it. It makes me feel connected. It makes me feel supported. It makes me feel cared for. This might take awhile, so keep those comments coming. And hey, don't worry about what you "sound" like online, how do you think I feel? I have to be very careful not to offend anyone. And if you know me, you know that that's virtually impossible for me!!!!!

Jason called the hospital tonight to check on Isaac so I have to give him a call and get the latest. BTW, I'll try to get some pics, again. I've been a slacker, huh?

Night, night. Sleep tight. Snug as a bug.

Wake Up Call

Jason's got a wake up call for 5:15am. Ouch. He'll drive directly to work tomorrow. It's so nice to have the weekends together. I hate that he has to go, but I'm very happy that he has the opportunity to keep coming back.

Tonight is our last night at the McKinley Grand Hotel. It is bittersweet. We've come to know most of the staff here and just love them. Hannah asks for our same server every morning for breakfast. One of the ladies is trying to set up a fundraiser for us. We have loved every minute of our stay here. We're leaving because we'll now be staying at the home of a couple right here in Canton--only minutes from the hospital. They read about us in the paper and immediately called and left a message for us at the hotel. We went to their house for dinner this evening and had a wonderful time. I think we all realized very quickly that God had carefully orchestrated our meeting. We'll have our own room and bathroom. And, having 7 grandchildren, they have a lower level full of toys. Hannah was hugging them by the time we left. By the way, two of their grandchildren raised $40 for us by taking a collection in their neighborhood. We were touched by their big hearts. We will be staying with them until we return to MI.

Through all of this, we have been greatly blessed.

It's a huge transition to go from our life outside the hospital, to the NICU. Everytime I see Isaac I remember that all of this, is for him. I usually feel sad when I leave the hospital because I'm trying to love my new son, but not able to do much of anything. I want to be able to hold him and love him. I feel like all I do is try to figure out where to be and what to do, just to see my son a few minutes a day. Several have suggested that I make a trip home and take a break. At this point, I can't do that. I would feel like I was abandoning him. I want to be here. As long as the three of us can tough it out, we're going to keep up our vigil over Isaac. I KNOW he is in God's care. I have to trust that God knows what He's doing.

Canton, OH (and immediate area)

This morning after a quick breakfast we headed out to the HOF Parade. Hannah loved it! Everytime she saw an American Flag, she reminded us to stand up. After the parade, we went to the hospital to visit Isaac and do our laundry. This afternoon, we went to the mall and Hannah told Daddy she wanted to go to the Build-A-Bear Workshop (she'd seen it on our visit to the mall earlier in the week). What parent isn't a sucker for a cute 2 year-old saying, "please???" Luckily, she picked the least expensive bear and a simple shirt for him. BTW, his name is Hershey. When we left the store, she demanded that she hold Hershey in one arm and carry the box in the other. It was soooo adorable. Dinner at a local pub and then bathtime. We had a very nice day together. I kept thinking about how nice it would be to have Isaac with us. I pray that day will come.

In my first post, I suggested there wasn't much to Canton, OH. I was wrong. I apologize. While my favorite coffee shop, Beaner's, is not here, (trust me, my friends, I mapquested it the first week I was here...would you expect any less????) Target is. And that's all I need. Well, not all I need. The other thing I need, and more importantly, is support and encouragement. And Canton has exceeded my expectations.

The staff at the McKinley Grand Hotel have been truly wonderful. When we come back to Canton to finalize Isaac's adoption, I KNOW where we will be staying. They have become a sort of family to us. Always kind, very accommodating. The staff in the NICU are very nice. They are taking very good care of Isaac. I've heard nothing but positive things from other families who have had infants in their NICU, and I have no complaints. Thank you for saving his life last night. Thank you to The Repository for sharing our story--it was very nicely written. Thank you to all of you who have called, left comments on our blog and stopped us on the street. Many of you have offered us places to stay, given us suggestions of things to do and shared your own stories with us. While we are unable to accept everyone's offers, each one is greatly appreciated. At a time when we do not have any friends or family in the area to support us, you have stepped in and filled the gap. Each and every one of you are an answer to prayer for our family. If you do not personally know Christ, that nudge you felt to call or pray or read our story...that is the God we serve. That is the God that brought us to our son. In the harshest of times, it is only He who gives peace.

The Repository

One of Jason's co-workers in Lansing, MI contacted the local paper in Canton about our family. A journalist contacted us this week to talk about our journey here. We were humbled to see it made the front page news this morning. You can read the story in The Repository, at www.cantonrep.com
As of this morning, Isaac is still stable. He has been placed on an oscillator which gives him maximum breathing support. It is a bit of a setback, medically, but he is alive. For that, we are very thankful.

God Answered

Around 9:45 this evening, we were sitting in bed, eating Chinese takeout and watching TV, when we got a call from the hospital. The nurse told us they were trying to resuscitate Isaac and to come to the hospital. I was crying when I went downstairs to the front desk and told one of the front desk staff (most of whom we've come to know well) that I needed her to find someone to come and sit in our room while Hannah was sleeping so we could go to the hospital. She immediately came upstairs herself and Jason and I left. By the time we arrived, they had his heart rate back in normal range and he was breathing again. The doctor was unsure exactly why he stopped breathing. She thinks his lungs just clamped down and wouldn't open up. When we left, he had just received a breathing treatment to open up his airways and was in stable condition. I was begging God in the car to please not take him. God answered.

Daddy's Back in Town!

Jason arrived late this afternoon...just in time for all of us to walk in with John Madden. It was pretty cool. No, we're not asking for autographs. However, we did buy a football today just in case they offer...it would be neat to have for Isaac when he gets older.

We were hoping to hold Isaac tonight, but, no. Honestly, it's very frustrating. That's all I have to say about that. My grandma asked about Isaac's weight. He now weighs 2 pounds 1 ounce. He had a bit of a jump in his weight that isn't necessary good, but so far hasn't been an issue. At this point, he should be gaining, on average, a little less than an ounce per day. He still continues to get vitamins and fats but he hasn't had formula for a few days due to his heart problem. For my own sanity, I really hope we can hold him tomorrow.

We decided to take Hannah to Pizza Hut tonight for dinner. She loves pizza and we haven't had it since we arrived here. We ordered half pepperoni for Jason and half supreme for Hannah and I. I thought I'd be able to trick her into eating some vegetables...no luck. She's rejecting fruit now, too. In her mind, the four major food groups are pizza, hot dogs, nuggets and french fries. I'm not giving up, though!

We received a few care packages today. It was wonderful!!! I love to get mail! Most of it is for Hannah, but it's still fun for me to open, too. Her toy drawer is now overflowing! Thank you all very much.

We love hearing from all of you. Your comments and emails are very encouraging. We appreciate your prayers and support.

Did I mention that I'm a little frustrated? It's inhibiting my writing juices. Jason and I are going to watch some TV. Thank you so very much for praying for us. Right now, we need it.

Much love and appreciation.

One Week and One Day

Isn't the title of my post brilliant?

Another day of instability for little Isaac. They'll be doing his next echocardiogram on Saturday so we'll know then if the medicine has done it's job. Aside from that complication, they also think he may have some kind of infection. We're still waiting for all of the results. He also received his third blood transfusion today. (Deep sigh). Truthfully, I try not to think about any of this. I'm staying away from the informational booklets at the hospital and the vast research on the internet. This is completely out of character for me--I'm usually scouring the net for answers. All the research and knowledge in the world have absolutely zero impact on Isaac's outcome. Don't get me wrong, I am forever indebted to the staff at Aultman Hospital for giving my son phenominal care. And, if not for medical advancements, he would have no chance at all. What I am saying is God is in control of Isaac's life. I have NO control. My time is much better spent praying and spending time with Hannah. So this is what I'm doing.

Hannah and I stopped in to visit Isaac this morning and this evening. I chatted with his nurses and Hannah took her shorts and shoes off. We went to the mall and to Target...anything indoors because it was super hot here again today. We also spent some time at the home of one of the staff from the NICU. She was very kind to let us come over and let Hannah play with her kids. It was a nice break for both of us. Tonight Hannah took a bath with bath crayons that a friend sent to us in a care package. She'd never used them before and she loved it. Drawing on the tub...how much better can life be for a 2-year old?!

Since Isaac is in no condition to be transferred, we are anticipating being here 2-4 more weeks. We're trying to figure out what's next. Right now, it's costing us about $140/day for the hotel and food. Once Isaac is cleared to be transferred, we estimate the cost of the flight to be around $7,000. Unfortunately, since his transfer would not be medically necessary, just for convenience sake to get him to Grand Rapids, insurance will not cover the transfer. What we anticipated to be about a $10,000 adoption is now in the realm of $21,000-$23,000. How ironic that one of the reasons we stayed away from international adoption was the cost. God is laughing, I just know it.

We have some friends facing some significant life changes, as well. They lost their 3-month old daughter 2 years ago today. Then, this past January, Josh, a 30 year old husband and father, was paralyzed in a swimming accident. (You can follow their blog at http://www.greenhouseministries.org/)

When I think about the life events and losses we all face, I think about Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

No matter what obstacles we face, God has no intention of hurting us, rather, he has plans that are far greater than we could have ever imagined. I don't know what God has in store for Josh and Shelly, but I can guess it's far better than they could have ever imagined. I look forward to the day when God reveals to them his true intentions.