God is ALWAYS one step ahead...

I spent a few hours at the hospital with Isaac this morning while Hannah was in "school." I forgot to mention it, but I helped change Isaac's diaper yesterday for the first time. I got to help today, too. I also got to hold his feeding tube while it drained into his stomach. I never thought I'd look forward to doing such tasks. I think the staff can tell I'm starting to wear down and are trying to include me as much as they can. It's been very nice. While Isaac is stable, he is not doing well. He had his fourth blood transfusion today. The nurse said his body is focused on the pneumonia and is not creating enough red blood cells. It's very difficult to explain to everyone that even though he is currently stable, he is very critical. This is very much an hour by hour process. We are waiting out the weekend to see if he is "well" enough for all of us to leave for a few days. One positive, as of late this afternoon, he was tolerating his feedings and they were going to increase them from 2cc's to 3cc's every three hours (like 1/3 of a teaspoon or something crazy like that).

Some of you have asked if our adoption is completed, yet. Actually, it has not even begun. We have a young woman living with us and she, too, has to be fingerprinted as part of our adoption process. She will arrive in Ohio tomorrow to get that done. So, our adoption process will begin when all of our paperwork can be sent out to be approved. We have to have approval from Ohio and Michigan to take him across state lines. Once that has been established, we will have temporary custody of him (right now he is in the custody of the agency in Ohio). His adoption will (hopefully) be finalized about 6 months after we have temporary custody. We will be returning to Ohio to finalize his adoption. As of now, (and probably for the next 2-3 weeks) we have absolutely no legal tie to Isaac whatsoever. Interesting, huh?

I got a call from the hotel today letting us know a gift basket had been dropped off for us. Hannah and I had been planning on visiting anyway, so it worked out great. We visited for awhile and then left with our basket from Malone College. We had dinner at Denny's while waiting for the tornado warning to clear and then visited Isaac before heading home (home in Ohio). Hannah had a bath so she's nice and clean for Daddy's arrival tomorrow and then off to bed (I think she fell asleep singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star). I'm cleaning up our messy room and decide to open the gift basket. T-shirt, hat, huge blanket....cool stuff. They also sent a daily devotional. Each devotion is written by an alumnus. Cool, I thought. I figured it would be neat to read the devotions everyday so I turn to today...

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Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Letting Go
I've thought of "trust" as the superhero of stressful scenarios when my trust in God comes to rescue me from whatever jam I'm in. But the other day I realized if my trust in God is active only when I'm in an unusual situation I can't control, than I rarely trust at all.

It's easy to call out for help when I don't have any other recourse, but it's difficult to say "I surrender all. your will be done." Instead, I argue: What if God doesn't come through? What if He takes my life where I don't want to go? Instead of surrendering, I cling to pieces of myself hoping to cash them in if God doesn't hold up his end. But God doesn't work like that. With Him, it's all or nothing.

I'm reminded of when God promised Abraham, who was childless, that he would father a great nation. Then when God finally gave him his son, Isaac, He told Abraham to kill Isaac as a sacrifice. Instead of saying, "Okay God. I usually trust you, but this time you've gone too far," Abraham went ahead, took his son, and built the alter. He was willing to lay down the one thing that fulfilled God's promise to him, knowing that God could be trusted.

I want that kind of trust.

I so often trust God only with the worst areas of my life, when I should trust Him with the best as well. Just as Abraham laid down Isaac on the altar, God wants us to trust Him enough to let go, knowing that He won't.

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And, that's exactly what we're called to do everyday. With our spouses and children, jobs and decisions. Give it up. Let go. Take the leap. If there is something God has been laying on your heart recently, or maybe for a very long time, NOW is the time. It might be scary, it might be very painful. It might be the faith you've heard about but never experienced for yourself. JUST DO IT. And you'll experience a life you never thought was possible.

Blessings to each of you.