Sunday, November 25, 2007

After a wonderful week together, Jason headed for home this morning. It pretty much sucks to be away from him. He just called to tell me Cali and Cooper are lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. Hannah and I miss our pets alot. When I'm home I complain about them (the barking and the shedding), but I miss them like crazy right now. Hopefully, we'll be home soon.

So, about Isaac. His doctor feels he may be ready to come home (to our house) within the next few weeks. We've tabled the transfer, again, in hopes we'll be taking him home soon. This morning he started getting a bottle for every feeding and is going up 4ml every 12 hours. He also received the first of many of his immunizations this evening. If he does well tonight (tolerating his feedings by bottle) they may move him to the stepdown unit tomorrow. This would be his first time out of the NICU. His move to the 4th floor would also mean Hannah would be able to come with me to see him. Jason and I excited to think this could be it. It's also scary to be sooo close to the end, knowing that any illness could set him back quite a bit. Tonight, when I fed him his bottle (and forgot the camera AGAIN), I told him how proud I was of him. I told him to keep fighting and to keep growing and to keep trying and that Mommy and Daddy would always be here to encourage him along. I also told him if he couldn't do it, yet, that it was ok. I told him we love him no matter what. Healthy or sick. In the hospital or at home.

I think it's very kind so many of you applaud what we're doing. Really, it's nothing. We don't adopt kids because we want to save them, or because their birth families don't want them. Our children were placed for adoption and then adopted because that's how God orchestrated their lives, for reasons we'll never know. We are just a part of God's plan for our children's lives. And for that, we are eternally humbled and grateful.

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I think it's interesting how we think about families as "mine" and "yours", "birth families" and "adoptive families." As a Christian, I believe that we're all a part of God's family, therefore, everyone is family. We talk about being "brothers and sisters in Christ" but do we love and care for each other like family? Just a thought.

Many people refer to birth families in a negative manner. A common misconception about birth families is that they don't love their kids--that's why they "give them up." I've never found that to be true. Something many people say to me about placing children for adoption is, "I could never do that." And I think, yeah, it's THAT difficult. Why do we assume it's an easy choice for a birth family to place a child for adoption? Why do we assume they don't love their child? I don't think we make the same assumption of Abraham when God asked him to sacrifice his son, Isaac (Genesis 22). Instead, I think we look at him as a man of great faith. Trusting God and obeying God despite his human selfishness. There are a million things I don't know about birth families because we're not one. But I do know that my experience with birth families leads me to believe that they love their children as much as every parent. Except they love enough and trust and obey God enough--to let go--something most parents could never do. If there is ever a hero to me, it's a birth family. November is National Adoption Awareness Month. If there is anything I could make you aware of, it would be the love and self sacrifice of a birth family.

Blessings to every birth family who has placed a child for adoption. I believe God has seen your sacrifice, and will reward you greatly.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

So Tiffany...thank you so much for the words you share about birth families. I am adopted and thank God everyday that my birthmother made the courageous choice to give me the better life she knew she could not provide at the time. She chose to give me LIFE...and not take my life with abortion but love me enouph to give me up for adoption. That is a selfless love that cannot be easy for any birth parent.
God Bless all birth families!!

Anonymous said...

Wow!! What can I say other than the wisdom of Christ was in your message tonight. Granted there are so many different reasons birth parents give up their child and who are we to judge them. Look how many later in years want to find that child that they gave up for some reason or the other. As Lynn said, in "my" words "Praise The Lord" her birth mother gave her up, did not abort her but gave her up to a family that loves her.
Needless to say for whatever reason which none of us know they had their reasons for what they did. We are sitting here today thanking "God" that Hannah and Isaac's mother gave them up and we are blessed with them in our lives today. What more can I say than that!!!!!

Needless to say there are those out there that have aborted children and "we" cannot judge them either. That is up to Christ and if they ask for forgiveness it is there for them.

Christ's Love and Ours,
Gram and Papa

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you shared these words; each day since July when I have prayed for your family, I have also prayed for Isaac's birth family, and have wondered if they are following his progress. As a mother who was never faced with questions of needing to let go of a child except to adulthood, I cannot imagine the pain of loss in making the choice to allow your child to be adopted, even when it may clearly be the best choice. Continued prayers for all of Isaac's family, and our families in CHrist.

Brad, Carmen, Braylen and Alea Fleck said...

wow, that is powerful! We tell our adopted girls all the time that their birthmommies loved them very, very much. They made the most loving choice ever! We do not know the circumstances of our oldest daughter, but we were able to meet our youngest's bithmom in TAIWAN of all places. It was an incredible experience and we have an awesome story to share with our daughter!

praying Isaac can soon come home!! What a Christmas miracle!!

The VW's said...

What a powerful update! It brought tears to my eyes! Carrying a child, knowing that you will be giving them up to a family who you trust will be able to care for them better, is one of the most selfless and giving things one could do! The analogy you used about Isaac being given as a sacrifice was perfect! May God grant these families peace with the decision they had to make!

I am so excited that you may be bringing Isaac HOME soon! I think it's a wise decision to hold out awhile longer in Ohio. We were away from home for several months while our son was in the hospital far from home. We transfered him to be closer to home. It was a great decision for our family life, but a very hard adjustment. The new hospital staff didn't know our son and it made for a hard adjustment as well as some big errors with changes they felt would be better for him. We know that there was a reason for it(God's will), but it's still hard accepting it some days. I don't want to make you feel that you shouldn't transfer, if that's what you decide down the road, but I just wanted to let you know that although it will be hard being away from home a few more weeks, it may be worth the sacrifice.

Our prayers continue for your family. We are so thankful that Isaac is doing so well!

The VW's

Jane said...

beautiful post!

my heart goes out to the birth family. They are giving up so much. They are giving the gift of life to many couples that would have never had the joy of raising children.... hopefully for God's glory and not their own!

These are children, not "items for purchase". Yes, they need safe, warm and secure homes that can provide for them. But the reality is this...they are God's children, who need to hear HIS word, so that they too will bring Jesus into their hearts and enter the kingdom of Heaven.

The sacrifice of a "birth family" is HUGE! Yes there are many children that are taken away from their family by the court system.... my heart breaks for those birth families. That satan has such a stronghold on them that their addictions override their parenting skills.

It is sad, but praise God for Christ followers who step up to the call on their lives to raise a child of God's.

I love post like this....education is the best way to end any tragic situation!

Ohio_Momto3boys said...

I love to talk birthfamilies! We are fortunate in having two wonderful birthmoms who share their lives with us.
When we first got Ozzie from Detroit, I was nervous about sending pictures and letters. However, as our birthmom wrote back, she shared that whenever she doubted her decision, she looked at the pictures of Oz and realized that she'd made the right choice. Would she do it again? NO WAY. It has ripped her heart apart... just as it would MINE if I had to give him up now.
With Nolan and Aaron, Birthmom is wonderful. She knows she's maxed out of resources and she knows she made the right choices. We spend hours on the phone comparing stories of what the children do and who they resemble in their actions.

In my teaching career, I read Ruby K. Payne's work (Understanding the framework of poverty, and others...) but I didn't "really" understand until I met our sons' birthfamilies. I've learned about dirty inner city hospitals, food being stolen out of fridges, not having transportation if the bus is down, and not having access to fresh fruits and veggies because the corner store doesn't carry those items. What an eye opener!

YET in the midst of all the chaos and drama that our young birthmoms face each day, the bio siblings of my boys are honor roll students, skipping grades, and winning spelling bees! Talk about admirable MOMS!
If something happened now that I couldnt' parent my boys, I would exhaust every resource known to man to keep my children... but now I can imagine a life without resources and I can imagine making a tough choice. I am thankful each day that my boys' birthmoms made the choices they did!

Most adoptions don't work out like ours, so we appreciate the specialness of our situation. Part of it is just us... we are who we are... and my husband is a kid magnet... Mostly it's by the grace of God that HE has allowed these women into our lives. When they are prayed for at a family gathering of Millers, that's 90+ BELIEVERS storming the gates of Heaven on behalf of these ladies.

Ah, well, it's time to make french toast sticks... I could go on for DAYS about birthmoms.
Enjoy your day and keep on keepin' on. Go Isaac! Show Mommy how much you can eat so she can envision your teenage years... LOL

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post.... what a precious reminder about the many, many precious birth families in this world!

Anonymous said...

I have been enjoying all of the posts. Always enjoying the pictures. I am finally posting to thankfullness...I am thankful for the choices that I have made regarding my daughter.

Anonymous said...

Tell Hannah that I have seen this same face before.

Anonymous said...

We here in Ohio certainly hope that you will continue to post even after you all go home. We have been following you for quite some time now so....DON'T STOP. We also know that you won't have as much "leisure" time once he is home but do what you can. Thanks for this wonderful post..definitely food for thought on this one.

Anonymous said...

I think I sense there are Mom's out there that have been caught in a rock and a hard place. Christ is there for you and you need to forgive yourself. If you have accepted Christ he has already forgiven you.

This has been one of the most interesting post's. We are learning that there are those out there that are on either side of the asile. In other words they have done that no matter what it is or was. Hey life is not easy and you are forgiven so just accept it.

Just know that there are those of us out there that are praying for you and your family.

We are praying that Issac will be "home" by the end of the week. Me speaking!!

Christ's Love to all, Gram and Papa