Thursday, January 31, 2008

Papa's Little Peanut (better known as Tiffany Evans)

My Papa.


My Gram.



Disclaimer: This post is not intended to discredit my parents or Jim as grandparents. Simply my thoughts and feelings about my grandparents and how much I miss Nancy and who she was and would've been.

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When Nancy (Jason's mom) died, I was devastated. Overwhelmingly, because of the loss of a Grandma for my children. Retired and living an hour away, Grandma and Papa (as Hannah called them) visited every couple of weeks. Grandma would smother Hannah with kisses and hugs while Papa would immediately get down on the floor for whatever activity Hannah was desiring to play. Grandma would oversee playtime while Papa made a fool of himself, laughing at every turn. I remember Jim asking (too early on!) if Hannah could have chocolate. Silly Papa.

That's what grandparents do. They love. With wild abandon. To no end.

When Nancy died, every memory I had with my Gram and Papa sifted through my mind. And heart.

Going for walks in their neighborhood in the evening, eating ice cream with chocolate sauce and peanuts while lying between them in their bed watching TV, playing dress up in Gram's high heels, playing with my mom's Barbies on their living room floor, going to work with Gram when she owned a Christian book store, going to work with Gram when she worked for Papa...the smell of their house...the cookies in the same drawer, everytime I came over...the placement of the furniture, the feel of the carpet. Every nook and cranny of where they lived and who they were and now are, etched into my memory.

Everything about them makes my heart swell.

It saddens me very deeply when I think about all the memories I have, that my children will not. It was my little eutopia, impressing my experiences and memories of a Gram and Papa onto my children. That special love and laughter that as a parent, I cannot emulate. That hidden door in their hearts that only opens for a Gram and Papa. I cannot imagine my life without my grandparents. Even more so, I cannot imagine that for my children.

My grandparents mean more than the world to me. And I think about this often...something I even shared with Gram a few weeks ago. When they die, those days will be among the saddest in my life. But I rest in knowing I will see each of them again, for eternity. I will only be away from them for a few, short years before I am reunited with them forever in heaven. I look forward to meeting Jesus, but I'll also REALLY look forward to being in the arms of my grandparents again.

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I don't like getting forwards. Impersonal. Usually unimportant. I don't even read them. Well, that's not true. I read some of them. The ones from Gram. Because if it's important enough to her, it's important enough to me. And that's the love we share. Period. That's it. Praise the Lord!

3 comments:

Jane said...

I like this post. My grandma went home to be with Jesus 35 years next in Feb. I was only 5 when she passed, and I miss her dearly. Mom's mom had passed 2 years before I was born. Thank you for sharing your Gram with us.

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed reading your day to day about Isaac. Thank you for sharing. The tone has changed, and I will move on. Thanks again. Holly

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how some of your most cherished memories are some of the exact things I remember as a kid when spending time with my grandparents. I was married on what would have been their 50th wedding anniversary 12 years ago.
Hold tight to the memories dear friend,its all we have till we meet our loved ones again.
God has blessed you. Thanks for sharing.
Jodi