No volunteers in the activity room again. Thankfully, Isaac's nurse took Hannah for about 15 minutes so I could see Isaac. When I went in he was just lying in his crib looking around. It's amazing how seeing and holding him lifts my spirits. I go from down in the dumps to excited in seconds. He loves when I hold him up so he can look around. Then, he just puts his head on my shoulder and lays there quietly looking around. I just keep kissing his head over and over again. Our little buddy buddy. His nurses keep telling me he's going to think his name is buddy buddy. Have I told you that before?! I don't remember...As long as Isaac does not have any problems they will continue to advance him 1ml every 24 hours. And, if he continues to do well and DeVos has an opening the plan is to transfer him at the end of next week.

I think I'm more stressed now than ever before. I'm sooo hopeful this is all going to come together. I'm on pins and needles every minute of everyday. And every time I call the NICU to check on him, I'm scared they're going to give me bad news. I just want to snatch him up and make a run for it. All the nurses and nurse practitioners are so excited he's doing so well. Leaving here (and Ohio in general) will be bitter-sweet. The only life we've ever known with Isaac has been here. I'll be glad to go, but we're going to be starting all over again in a new hospital with all new staff that know nothing about him or his likes and dislikes. That Sara Groves song that I referenced before keeps going through my mind, especially the line, "it feels like pinching to me, either way." Now I've gone and worked myself up...I have to call the NICU and check on him...he's sleeping. That's good.

I'm also nervous about going back to real life. Here, there is no cooking or cleaning. No barking dog or shedding cat. I've noticed when I've gone home the last few months, my anxiety level really goes up. I feel so responsible for so many things, and I just get so overwhelmed. I'm very nervous about all these feelings when I go home. And it's weird because it's not like this feels like a vacation, but really, I haven't had to do much of anything for the last 4 months. I would appreciate it if you would pray for this anxiety to go away and that I would be able to embrace my role as a wife, mom to 2 kids, a barking dog and shedding cat. The other thing that's difficult is Jason's schedule. He's up and gone by 6am and doesn't return home until 6:15pm. He's asked several times to work from Grand Rapids instead of commuting to Lansing, but understandably, they tell him if they do it for one person, they have to do it for others. By 3pm with just Hannah, I'm finished. I'm nervous about 2 at home, now, for 12 hours a day. And I feel silly feeling these things because this is just normal life! You guys do all this, too! I know in 10 years I'll look back on all of this and wonder where the time went and why didn't I play with the kids more often and worry less. Just sharing my thoughts, I guess.

Let's talk about Thanksgiving. No, not your stuffing recipe or secret ingredient for your pumpkin pie. I'd like to hear what you're thankful for. And please don't say "kids, health, husband..." BLAH. I want to hear specifics. Maybe a situation or a conversation, an epiphany or a God moment, maybe a random act of kindness (or what I'd like to call a Divine Appointment). I'd like to hear your heart stories about what you're thankful for. I think it would be neat to share a little with one another. And, if you don't want anyone to know who you are, just leave the comment anonymously. I can't wait to read what you all write!!!! (Seriously, I stay up late, just checking to see if anyone else has left a comment. And I check like 15 times a day.) I guess I should go first. I'm thankful for a billion things. But one thing I'm thankful for are the people and the relationships that God puts in my life. Like our now moved away neighbors, "Grandma" Marilyn and "Grandpa" Dave. Or my new friends from Ecuador. An unexpected sister-like friendship because of a common adoption link. A neighbor that is a little quirky but truly kind-hearted. I always look forward to the next relationship that God has planned for me. For, this I am thankful.

Ok....now it's your turn!