Secret Revealed!

Settle in, it's going to be a long one.

Isaac: He's on day two of his EleCare (formula). His doctor said she wanted him to remain at 1ml per hour through the weekend to sort of...prime the pump. She wants to make sure his gut isn't pushed too far too fast. I'm totally ok with that. I'd rather take it slowly and reduce the risk of more problems. He's still on room air and I really love that. The only tube on his face is for eating and that's a good thing! Today after rounding on Isaac they let me take him into an empty nursery and hold him while they rounded on the other 5 kiddos. Usually, while they continue rounding, parents have to wait in the reception area. Since the activity room where Hannah goes while I visit with Isaac is closing an hour earlier than it has in the past, they're trying to find ways to give me more time with Isaac. I really do love the NICU staff. They are very good to our family. Anyway, so the social worker comes over while I'm holding Isaac and says she's got it worked out so Hannah can come up to see Isaac, too. I'm elated, of course. So I go get Hannah and bring her up to the NICU. Hannah, Isaac, me and Isaac's nurse go into a private room and spend like 20 minutes together. Isaac's nurse took pics while we laughed at Hannah's silly antics and joy over seeing her baby brother. Hannah even got to hold Isaac for the first time. Pure joy. Really. I just love to see the two of them together. Isaac was alert and looking around the whole time. Hannah sang to him and clapped his hands together--he didn't mind it a bit. We both gave him lots of kisses. Someone recently asked for a pic of the four of us together and I thought about that today while Hannah and I were with Isaac. We don't have a family pic, yet, because we've never all been together. I missed Jason a lot, today, when we were loving on Isaac without him. I'm looking forward to being a family of four for the first time.

This afternoon we received a FedEx envelope. I wasn't sure what to expect. Either one of you called Max & Erma's on our behalf or I don't know what, because somehow, they heard that I'd mentioned their restaurant on our blog and sent us $200 in gift certificates!!!! Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, here I come! How very nice. We do enjoy Max & Erma's and look forward to inviting some of our RMDH friends out to dinner. Thank you, Max & Erma's!! What a blessing.

Ok, so I can share with you our little secret because it's no longer going to happen. You might not believe what I'm going to tell you, but I promise, it's true. When we signed our temporary placement paperwork, we became aware of some adoption assistance (money) that we could potentially apply for. Our Ohio agency generally explained why we wouldn't want to apply for it and we moved on. Fast forward to this week when I began making phone calls regarding financial assistance for Isaac and the above-mentioned adoption assistance came up again. Basically, it's a federal/state subsidy available to special needs children who are adopted. This subsidy is EXTREMELY difficult to get. I think we could've gotten it because Isaac definitely meets the criteria, but we decided against it for many reasons. I know, I know, what's the big deal?! Here it is. If we would've gone ahead and applied for the subsidy, we would've had to post Isaac on the state of Ohio's adoption website for three days. If another adoptive family would've agreed to adopt him WITHOUT the subsidy, it would be up to the agency to decide whether to give us a choice to choose Issac and forget the subsidy, or just choose to give Isaac to the other family. Here's what it boils down to. If there is a family who will adopt a child without the subsidy, the federal/state government will not allow a family to adopt the child and get the subsidy. Messed up, huh? Even though Isaac is most likely very eligible for this subsidy, we're not applying for it. Crazy stuff. Crazy stuff.

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I had a very disturbing phone conversation yesterday that left me feeling pretty bad...hurt, even. After the phone call, which was not resolved, I received an email in reference to the call. I had been very misunderstood. Jason and I were very angry. Later in the evening, we talked on the phone about what we should do. Each of us, on our own, had decided it would be best not to respond. It's difficult, sometimes, to just let things go. Especially when you've been grossly misunderstood and misrepresented. I swallowed my pride and let it go. We both agreed it was the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder what I'm learning in all of this, and things like this happen. And I see that I am growing, I am learning. Not in every situation, but in this one, I learned. And it feels kinda good to do the right thing.

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We've been waiting for Isaac's birth certificate since July. We cannot apply for a social security number until we have it. And we cannot apply for Medicaid or SSI until we have the social security number. No birth certificate=zero progress. Phone calls have been made by several people inquiring about his birth certificate and the answer is always, "call back in two weeks." July to November is way more than two weeks. This week, I decided I WAS NOT going to wait any longer. I started calling on Tuesday. I started with Vital Statistics, the people who produce the certificates and was told "call back in two weeks." Yeah, we've heard THAT before. I called several other places including the Ohio Department of Health, an Ohio state representative and several other organizations begging for help. "Please, help me get this birth certificate so we can move on." I called Vital Statistics again today in one last, ditch effort to get this stupid thing. It was a different lady than Tuesday so I shared my story and my frustrations and the lady said to hold for a moment. I pleaded with God to just give me this one little thing....please....please....PLEASE. 15 minutes later she returned and said she was mailing out his birth certificate today!!!! Ha! Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus! I started crying and told the lady she was an answer to prayer. She said, "Well, God bless you, you just love on your little boy." I'm so glad I stuck to my guns and kept trying. Ha! Take that.

It has been a very turbulent week here in Cleveland. Lots of good things and some pretty frustrating ones too. Not unlike your week, I'm sure. God is present in every moment of every day for every person. Sometimes that's a reassuring thought and other times it scares me half to death. All I know, is that we're all equally loved by Him and His desire is that we seek Him in all we do. And all He requires from us is honest effort. Imperfectly, that's what I'm trying to do.

Blessings.